How to Become a Famous Writer in 5 Easy Steps

5 May

1. Have something strange/unusual/horrible happen to you during childhood (preferably hard child labor).

If you had a pretty laid back childhood, harken the emotions you felt when you really really wanted to go to mall and your mom said no.

2. Write a book which hardly veils the fact that your main character looks a lot like you and has a lot of the same problems and personality ticks.

How else can we live forever? However, naming this main character after yourself is frowned upon. Try to avoid that if possible.

3. Make lots of money.

Pretty self-explanatory, I think.

4. Spend your money in frivolous ways. This can be in a way of your choosing. Gamble it away. Spend it on your mistress. Lose it all prospecting. The more scandalous, the better.

What do Fyodor Dostoevsky, Charles Dickens, and Mark Twain have in common? They made a lot of money, then wasted it in foolish endeavors. Oh, and they also wrote some of the best books known to humankind. Coincidence? I think not.

5. Either die rich or die poor. But don’t EVER die middle-class.

Did you hear of the writer who died with a modest sum of money in the bank, just enough to settle his last earthly affairs with some change leftover for the grieving family? Neither did I.

The Liebster Award

18 Feb

I was nominated twice for The Liebster Award. Charles Yallowitz and Miss Molly nominated me. Thank you both.

This award is designed for bloggers with less than 200 followers.

The rules are:
* Share eleven facts about yourself with your fellow bloggers.
* Make sure to answer the awarder’s eleven questions.
* Ask eleven questions of your own.
* Nominate eleven bloggers for this award.

Eleven Facts:

1. I am a huge zombie fan.

2. I enjoy reading nonfiction books by individuals who do what they love and get paid to do it. I am currently reading Kevin Smith’s Tough Shit. (I hope to work with him some day.)

3. I still dress up for Halloween. I was a werewolf last year.

4. I am still going to college. It takes a lot longer when you can only take classes at night.

5. Anne Rice was a huge inspiration to me as a writer. She also helped convince me to stick through the college route. No one can every take away your education.

6. A poem of mine was published in The Stonepile Writers Anthology: Volume 1.

7. I’m allergic to cats.

8. Though I am a huge fan of horror writing, I can’t help to add a little humor in the mix.

9. Mark Twain is one of my idols.

10. I am paranoid about eating anything past it’s “best by” or “sell by” date, even if it is only the day after the date printed.

11. I married a drummer. He is amazing!

Here are the 11 questions from Charles.

  1. What is your favorite pizza topping?
    Tomato Sauce. Doesn’t taste right without the sauce.
  2. Do you have a nickname?  If so, what and why?
    I had a nickname, but I don’t want to repeat it. Thanks Heath! :P
  3. Who is your hero?
    My parents because they taught me that family is the most important thing in the world. Everything else is merely icing on the cake.
  4. What was the last song you listened to?
    Jeannie . Riley’s “Harper Valley PTA”
  5. What is your biggest fear?
    It used to be zombies. Now I think my biggest fear is failure.
  6. If you had a choice between riding an elephant or a camel, which would you choose? Why?
    Elephant! They are my favorite!
  7. Is there an animal that you identify with?  Why?
    Probably the wolf. The wolf’s needs and wants are simple, and she goes after them with dedication and perseverance. I feel like I do the same.
  8. What is your favorite season?  Why?
    I like Fall, while it is still pretty warm. I love summer too, but not when it is Africa hot.
  9. Do you wish I was better at asking questions?
    I think you are doing just fine.
  10. In a fight between King Kong, Dracula, and Kenny from South Park, who would win?
    Kenny would be dead before the fight ever started. Dracula could try to drain King Kong, but King Kong would simply bat at him as though Dracula were a mosquito. I would have to give this one to King Kong.
  11. Do you believe that everyone has the ability to be an artist?
    Absolutely!

Here are 11 questions from Miss Molly.

1.  Best day of your life so far.  I got this from “City Slickers,” that scene when the guys are riding along with the herd and talking.  And like their rules, the best day can’t be the day any of your kids were born.
When I married my husband.

2.  If you could be somebody else for a day, who would it be and why?
Anne Rice just to see what else she is working on.

3.  What are your three favorite foods?
Pickled eggs, chocolate, and okra. Not always together, but not always separate either.

4.  When did you consider yourself grown-up (if you do)?  If you don’t consider yourself grown-up, what will be the marker?
I will never grown up!

5.  What tokens, charms, special objects do you keep around to inspire your writing or other work you do if you’re not a writer?
I don’t have any tokens or charms to inspire me. Looking out the window helps.

6.  If you could make up your own astrology signs, what would the name of your sign be and what would be the symbol?  Explain.
Good question. I have no idea.

7.   Who was your favorite high school teacher and why.
How can I pick just one? All of my English teachers were wonderful and really encouraged me.

8.   What was the last live music performance you attended?  How did you like it?
Rammstein. It. Was. EPIC!

9.   As a kid, what was your favorite book? Do you still have a copy?
Maniac Magee. My brother has our copy.

10.  Someone once said it’s not what we give that defines love but what we give up.  Have you ever given up anything for love?  What and why?
What haven’t I given up for love? He’s worth it. :)

11.   What’s your favorite mode of travel?
Boat. I love the water!

Here are my questions.

1. If you could use only one word to describe yourself, what would that word be?

2. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?

3. What is your passion?

4. Who was the most influential person in your life?

5. What is your favorite movie?

6. Who is your favorite horror movie villain?

7. Car, boat, airplane, or train?

8. Oxford comma, yes or no?

9. Self-publishing or traditional publishing?

10. Kindle or Nook?

11. Glass half-full or half-empty?

I nominate:
http://carlynross.wordpress.com/

http://abbeywilson.wordpress.com/
http://ansieh.wordpress.com/
http://littlebitofholland.wordpress.com/
http://onegirlvaudeville.com/
http://gwenstephens.wordpress.com/
http://adamnathan.com/
http://writerrbdavis.wordpress.com/
http://jamieweilwritingmatters.wordpress.com/
http://lovelybooksblog.wordpress.com/
http://kerricull.wordpress.com/

Happy Writing!

C. L. Parson

5 Things You Need to be a Writer

13 Feb

1. A medium       

ex: pen or pencil and paper, typewriter, computer, smart phone, tablet, audio recorder

This kind of medium…

… not this kind of medium.

2. Buttocks (ass)

3. Chair (to sit your buttocks in)

4. Window (to gaze out of while waiting for inspiration to strike)

Right

Wrong

5. Imagination

C. L. Parson

A Little Reminder

11 Feb

This is my desktop background.

Image

C. L. Parson

My Introduction To Screenplays: Sink or Swim

11 Feb

You know that person who says they learned how to swim when their asshole dad threw them into the river/lake/pond/ocean? Or maybe you are that person. It was a terrifying experience, one that left the traumatized flounder-er seeking professional help in the form of therapy (and maybe swimming lessons at the local Y) for years to come. But what is important to remember is that this person survived, or their harrowing tale would have never seen the light of day.

This is what writing screenplays is like for me. It seems easy at first. I put my pinky toe in, testing the waters. In an instant, my toe testing becomes a belly flop of doom into the dark abyss of screenplay writing. I flounder at my keyboard as I try to adhere to the correct format, treading long enough to catch my breath before the script swallows my head again.

Somehow, I manage to throw myself onto the beach of a deserted island, gasping for breath, thankful for what I was able to accomplish, though I certainly won’t be winning any medals. I did it. My ideas are on paper, somewhat in the correct format, and I am still breathing.

However, the only way to get off this island is to keep swimming. The only way to finish this script is to keep writing. Is it painful? Yes. Is it embarrassing? Absolutely. Will I swim or let my script and my great ideas sink to the bottom of my psyche to never surface again? I am gonna doggy paddle my ass off.

Even if my screenplay doesn’t succeed and I never learn the right way to write one, it will still make one hell of an awesome story.

C. L. Parson

Tag! I’m it!

28 Jan

My wonderful friend Catherine Scully tagged me in her blog. So now I must write seven unusual facts about myself. Here it goes…

1. When I was born, one of my feet was folded back against my shin. I had to wear special shoes to correct it.

2. Though many may know about my zombie obsession, most probably don’t know that they used to terrify me. But now I know I could take some zombie names and kick some zombie ass.

3. As a kid, when my family went anywhere, I always had to see what the bathroom looked like. It may or may not have carried over into adulthood.

4. My husband and I met at a haunted house we both worked at. I guess you could say it was love at first fright?

5. On my first ever ski trip, I skied a Black Diamond…on my butt.

6. I think there are ghosts in my house.

7. No matter where or when, I will always stop what I am doing and dance when Gangnam Style comes on.

 C. L. Parson

How To Tell If You Are a Writer

25 Jan

You read this blog and other musings that are similar, knowing these experiences and reflections to be true and that they are shared by the majority of writers. You are painfully aware that the world, time, your family, your job, school, the dishes, the laundry, the dog, and everything else in your life should take priority in your life, but you cannot deny the itch to write. You know that writing will more than likely fail to feed your family, pay the bills, and put your kids through college. But you do it anyway. Despite everything, you still write. There is no doubt about it. YOU are a Writer.

C. L. Parson

sophiebowns

Just another WordPress.com site

The Written Word

The Writer and the Written Word

Turn the Page

Jon Clinch, author of FINN, KINGS OF THE EARTH, and THE THIEF OF AUSCHWITZ

Live to Write - Write to Live

Professional writers talk about the craft and business of writing

franklyrebekah

Staring is rude.

Searching for the light.

A journey of self discovery.

silver wolf

Stories blog

Shannon A Thompson

You need the world, and the world needs good people.

S S Hicks

Life, Laughter, & Writing

Bug Bytes

Tiny bits of my amusing life. No calamine lotion needed.

Edward Hotspur

Hey, I'm up here

ahamin

Author's official blog - AKA my thoughts

Lisa Medley

Write. Blog. Read. Repeat.

Simple Pleasures~

Photography & More

silkroadcollector.me

An International company that offers private antique art sales to clients around the globe.

The War in My Brain

A Personal Struggle with OCD

Jill Weatherholt

Pursuing a Passion for Writing

Devin Berglund

writing through life

Peace, Love & Great Country Music

Music is what life sounds like. ~Eric Olson

larrywtimm

It's Fiction...for Heaven's Sake.

Write, Juggle, Run

Living life through words and balls.

Rachel O'Laughlin

I write epic fantasy and grow roses.

debraswrittenwords

DSJwrites|Aspiring author of the paranormal

Journey to Jen

mom, wife, teacher, writer, friend: titles aside, who is the person God created me to be?

Carol Magrino

researching and writing about interracial relationships

Double LifeSolutions

A place to chat about getting more out of life

tolerantpeople

A place for learning and discussion

Symphonic Nightmares

Reveries of a poetic mortal

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 89 other followers