Professional Writer Quiz

7 Aug

In response to recent events, namely the publishing of an article by Lisa Morton of the HWA LA chapter, I decided to post my own quiz to help other writers determine whether or not they are allowed to call themselves professional writers. To be a professional writer, you must answer “yes” to ALL the questions, because professionals do not do anything half-assed. Those who fail this quiz will be put on the black list labeled “Hobbyists” and shall be monitored from here on out. 

Here is the quiz:

1. Do you blow off parties so you can go home and write?

2. Do you sometimes forget to eat because you are too busy writing?

3. Do you forget to visit your grandmother in the nursing home because you are too busy writing, even though the hospice nurse leaves a message every day saying she could pass away any day now?

4. Do you forget to feed your pets because you are too busy writing?

5. Does your home look like a hoarder’s paradise because you are too busy writing to take out the trash or put anything away?

6. Have you broken promises because to keep them would take time away from your writing? Example: You didn’t pick up your significant other at the airport like you said you would.

7. Are you still wearing the same clothes going on a week, underwear included, because to change clothes would cut into your prime writing time?

8. Have you forgotten to pick up your children at school because you are too engrossed in your writing?

9. Have your children missed a meal because your writing is much more important than cooking?

10. Has your spouse filed for divorce and/or has DFCS taken your children away because you have neglected your duties as spouse and/or parent due to the fact that those duties would take time away from your writing?

If you answered “yes” to ALL of these questions, congratulations! You are a professional writer!

C. L. Parson

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6 Responses to “Professional Writer Quiz”

  1. Kelly Vandever (@KellyVandever) August 7, 2013 at 6:29 pm #

    My favorites are 6, 7 & 8!!! Nice post CL!

  2. Kevin Brennan August 7, 2013 at 9:27 pm #

    Reblogged this on What The Hell and commented:
    Funny because it’s true…

  3. cinthiaritchie August 8, 2013 at 7:49 am #

    Ah, shit, except for Number 10, I could call myself a “real” writer. Great post, and thanks for the laugh.

    • C. L. Parson August 8, 2013 at 10:13 am #

      You’re very welcome. It was fun to write. I answered yes to a few myself, but I will never tell which ones. *wink*

  4. Teepee12 August 9, 2013 at 8:34 pm #

    I notice that actually earning money from writing is the single thing that doesn’t count. Perfect.

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