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Responsibilities

23 Nov

We all have them. Some choose to ignore them. Kudos to you. I, however, cannot. My mother had a mantra (well, she had many mantras), “We all have to do some things we don’t want to do.” Now I repeat the same mantra to my daughter every week morning when she is rolling around on the floor because she is tired and rather sleep than go to school.

This saying is one with which us writers are very familiar. Most writers have a day job that pays the bills. During our 9-5, we daydream about being able to write full-time. Wouldn’t that be wonderful? Absolutely! What stops us? Responsibilities. But just because we are responsible for putting food on the table, paying the mortgage, and keeping the lights on, doesn’t mean our responsibility to our craft is any less important. Many of us would probably go insane if it we didn’t have our writing as an outlet and a means to keep the nice young men with their clean white coats at bay. It is truly a balancing act.

What you need to remember is this:

You do what you have to so you can…

1. Take care of your loved ones.

2. Continue your craft.

If that means flipping burgers so your baby can eat, be the best damn burger flipper there ever was. After all, how could you expect to get any writing done if your baby is constantly interrupting you saying, “Mama, I’m hungry.” If you have to work on computers to pay your car note so you can attend writers’ conferences, by all means, W-E-R-K!

Few things are more important than your writing. One of those is your family and friends. Period. Regardless of anything else, people should ALWAYS be valued over all else. If we start to value our passions and dreams more than the people who care about us, we’ve got a problem. After all, what fun is finally achieving your goals as a writer when you have no one to share your success with?

C. L. Parson

Taking Control

22 Nov

Every day, I tell my daughter, “You are going to have a great day.” Not, “I hope you have a great day,” or “Try to have a great day.” I say, “You are going to have a great day,” because I feel if she believes she has no choice in the matter, she is doomed to have a day that is great. I can do this because my daughter is still young enough to believe that Mommy is right most if not all of the time. Thanks to my mommy super powers, I have an infinite knowledge too vast for my grade-schooler to comprehend. Of course, that is all a load of crap. But she doesn’t know that.

The truth is we forget we have control over our own attitudes. We forget we have the choice to not allow others to affect our general mood and outlook on life. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard or said, “I was having a great day. That is until So-and-so had to ruin it by…” It is easy to blame others for our sour moods. Just because we have control over how we let others affect us doesn’t mean it is always easy to practice that control. This is why we tend to give up that control, and then blame someone else for our bad day. Don’t give up the control, no matter how heavy that yoke may be. It is not the speaker who gives weight and value to his words, it is his audience. Remember that the next time someone gives you a harsh criticism. They are as common as dirt, and should be valued as such. As for kind words, they are worth their weight in gold because they are just as rare and just as valuable.

C. L. Parson

A Little Reminder

11 Feb

This is my desktop background.

Image

C. L. Parson

Tag! I’m it!

28 Jan

My wonderful friend Catherine Scully tagged me in her blog. So now I must write seven unusual facts about myself. Here it goes…

1. When I was born, one of my feet was folded back against my shin. I had to wear special shoes to correct it.

2. Though many may know about my zombie obsession, most probably don’t know that they used to terrify me. But now I know I could take some zombie names and kick some zombie ass.

3. As a kid, when my family went anywhere, I always had to see what the bathroom looked like. It may or may not have carried over into adulthood.

4. My husband and I met at a haunted house we both worked at. I guess you could say it was love at first fright?

5. On my first ever ski trip, I skied a Black Diamond…on my butt.

6. I think there are ghosts in my house.

7. No matter where or when, I will always stop what I am doing and dance when Gangnam Style comes on.

 C. L. Parson

Every End is a New Beginning

9 Jan

On December 12th 2012, 13 days before Christmas, I found out the baby I was carrying had died. I was one day shy of being 13 weeks pregnant, but the miracle inside me had stopped growing at 9 weeks and the tiny heart was no longer beating. I could almost hear my own heart shatter. It was the hardest day of my life.

To help ward off depression, I threw myself into my book. I had finished the first draft, but the last 70 pages or so were all handwritten so I spent most of my time transcribing it on the computer. When I wasn’t writing, I was reading. Anything to take my mind off of what had happened. I wasn’t happy with my life at the moment, so I spent as much time as I could living the lives of the characters I was writing or reading about.

Now it is time to start living my life again. With the New Year comes new beginnings. We have all heard it before. Usually I would just roll my eyes. However, this year, I feel the saying is appropriate.

I finished transcribing the handwritten manuscript. I am now revising my book, which is much like writing a whole new book all together. But now I have a chance to make it a better book. I am not starting over, I am just making it better. I am better prepared for what I want the overall outcome to be and how to get there. It may not be the most fun. I don’t think anyone really enjoys the rewriting process. But the headaches and the frustration will all be worth it when I am finally able to hold my new, perfected book in my hands.

The same goes with my family and our hopes to add one more member to it. We are waiting a couple of months, but we have decided to try again after our loss. We are definitely not trying to replace our loss with a new baby. We are not starting over. Nothing will erase the pain we felt after hearing the news that our baby had died, but I know I will see my angel baby again one day in a place where there is no pain.  After our tragedy, we are now better prepared for all the possibilities, and when we conceive again, we will more than likely be paranoid and worry the whole 9 months. In the end, the worrying and the paranoia will all be worth it when I can finally hold my new, perfect baby in my arms.

C. L. Parson

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