Rejection can be difficult, especially when in the form of a rejection letter for a book you wrote. Plenty of my poems have been rejected in the past. Eh, whatever. A poem takes time, but no where near as much time it takes to write a book (for me anyway). So today, I received my first rejection letter from an agent I queried.
The agent was very gentle with me, pointing out a few things that were wrong with the first few pages I sent over. It didn’t feel great to have someone critique my work negatively, but it was constructive criticism. What surprised me the most was that I agreed with the agent.
Bwuah?I had to admit to myself that even though I loved my book, I did not love the beginning. I guess I was a tad bit lazy. I had finished my first book ever and I didn’t have the courage nor the testicular fortitude to completely rearrange it.
Editing?
Sure, no problem.
Rewriting some sentences that don’t work?
Bring it on.
Throwing out the first thirty pages and starting from scratch.
Ouch! It burns!
But it is something that needs to be done, whether my lazy-ass likes it or not. For me, I must compare and take the lesser of two evils.
Sit my ass down in a chair and make the painful, excruciating changes.
OR
Never get my book published.
Well, when put that way, it really is no contest. And I should have known from the beginning that those changes needed to be made. After all, if I am unhappy about something in my book, what would my readers (though they are non-existent at this time) think? If I have a hard time getting through the blah blah blah at the beginning, how can I expect my readers to, or better yet, an agent, or a publisher?
Now some may say I am committing career suicide by posting my downfalls as a writer, but you know, we have all been there before. We are all human. Why pretend like we are perfect, when everyone else knows it’s all a sham? So I have decided not to play the “perfect, professional writer” game anymore. I’m taking my ball and going home, damn it.
Maybe writing about my imperfections as a writer will help other writers and let them know it’s okay to not have all the answers. Hell, half of us (myself included) don’t even know the damn question.
Now if you will excuse me, this lazy writer has some hardcore revising to do. Sigh. Hey, I never said I had to like it.
C. L. Parson
C. L. Parson 